Jackson
November 2nd 2009 - February 28th 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Another month of Sundays
Another month has gone by since Jackson's death. I can't believe that its only been 2 months since it feels like a million years ago since I held him in my arms. Yesterday was the first time I have went into his room and actually just sat there. I cried. I cried and just ask Jackson how I was going to live my life without him. I cried and ask god how he could do this to me. When I was done I realized that it felt good to cry. I didn't realize how much I hold back, for the sake of those around me or for the sake of myself. A lot has happened this month, I have seen and heard things that have frusterated me. Things have made me mad or made me wonder. I know it has been a hard month mentally. I know that next one is not going to be any better. I wish I could skip next month but as I know life carries on even if you want to stay in one place.
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I know that we try to be "better" to an extent for others. But, I am glad that you found comfort in Jackson's room. It is where I find my comfort when I miss Lukas too. I close the door and just release.
ReplyDelete((Hugs))
One of the big things I have learnt through all of this is not to hold back for others as it will do you no good. I too wish I could skip the next few months, if you find a way let me know :)
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about you and Tim alot today. Jackson's pictures hang in my office so I see him everyday. I used to love our daily phone calls when Jackson would talk to me. We are lucky to be surrounded by so many caring people. I wish you lived closer so I could hug you everyday. Just know that I love you with all my heart (minus the missing piece that left with Jackson). I'll have a big hug for you this weekend. Take Care xoxo
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