Saturday, April 10, 2010
Yesterday when at work I went to change a little boys diaper, I noticed that the had the jeans on that I had bought Jackson shortly before he died. I remember them because I loved putting them on with his guitar t-shirt and would put his hair in a mohawk. Jackson never wore sleepers except for bed. I loved dressing him up and he really did have the best wordrobe of any child I knew. I guess that was because I worked at a chilren`s clothing store and with your mom living close to the states you can go and shop and get cool clothes for super cheap. I realized that I would never see him wear those jeans again, that I would never see him wear any of the things I had bought for him. I had all of his clothes labeled and put into buckets with the sizes that they were. I have an entire summer wardrobe and I was so excited because I bought cool t-shirts that had little sayings on them like "son of super dad" and "my mom is a superhero". Now they all just sit there ready for a little boy to wear but he isn`t here to wear them. I was so excited to have a little boy, I never liked picking out dresses and pink things. I loved picking out camo pants and funky t-shirts. I was even going to order him a "B is for Bob" t-shirt (it had a picture of Bob Marley on it)because I use to sing him 3 little birds all the time. Now I don`t know what to do with all these clothes, I don`t want to give them away because I could never see another little boy wear them, but I don`t know if it would be too hard to put his little brother in them someday either. These are the things that trigger me and I`m sure they won`t be the last.