November 2nd 2009 - February 28th 2010

“No day will ever erase you from the memory of time”

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Jackson's Room

With only 6 more weeks to go (give or take a couple) Tim and I buckled down and went through Jackson's room. Well to be honest we called in reinforcements (my mom and mother in law). I think it was for the best because whenever Tim and I would start we made it 2 feet in the room started crying or feeling overwhelmed and gave up. The time had come though. His little sisters room was painted and was waiting for furniture.

The decison to leave his room the way it was, was not an easy one to make. We had family and friends weigh in but the decision was ours alone and it took us awhile to decide. We decided to leave it, now some might not agree and that maybe a change was needed but we felt that it being a guest room for the time being would be ok. That way we could still go in and lay on the bed and remember when he was a living part of the room.

I packed up all of the boy clothes, some which still had tags and put them in boxes for another time, maybe and hopefully someday another little boy. The special things I put together in a box just for him. Things that only he would get to wear and some stuff that was the last thing he wore. I only had a moment of panic when I couldn't find the envelope with the clipping of his hair. I tore through a pile of things that were still in a pile from the funeral and there it was.

I was so focused on getting the room clean and tidy I never let myself get too upset. Again if it were just Tim and I, I feel the room would have never got done. We allowed ourselves the time after everyone left to just be in the room together and remember our special little guy.