November 2nd 2009 - February 28th 2010

“No day will ever erase you from the memory of time”

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Bad Things happen in 3's

Yesterday I woke up and I just had a feeling that today was not going to be a great day.

Our basement flooded. Which has happened a couple of times but I thought we finally got it under control. This time it was really bad because normally it contains itself to just the laundry room but this time it was everywhere. I was so mad I wanted to cry. I cried all the way to the rental place to pick up a fan to dry it out. I think I tempted the universe when I yelled that they needed to cut us a break. They had other plans for me that day.

While I was getting the fan my new job called and said they needed me right away because someone had called in sick. I also had a feeling that would happen which is why I had a shower and was ready to go already. When I got to work it was crazy. Which was handled easily. While playing with the children I realized that I had got my period. 4 days early. I couldn't believe it. First of all I got it but 4 days early! I thought ok that is 3 bad things....I was wrong.

Tim being great met me for lunch. As I was coming out I noticed that my tire was flat. All I could say was you have got to be F-ing kidding me. Luckily Tim who was home dealing with the flood was able to stay with the car and change the tire while I went back to work.

So that is 3 is it over I don't know. Luckily there was so much other stuff going on I didn't really have time to dwell on my period coming. I guess that was a blessing in disguise. Later that night I told Tim someday we will laugh about this day. Even now I think it is sort of crazy that all of that happened in one day.

With all of this happening an amazing fertility reflexologist wrote me to ask me if I wanted to be their guinea pig for a new holistic fertility treatment. Of course I said yes and now I just have to wait and hear back from her about it. I also finally found a new doctor, who I am going to meet next week. Then in two weeks I go and meet with the OB that delivered Jackson. I am going to start and get some answers that I have been looking for.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Happy Birthday Jackson

I wish I could say that I remember all the magical things that led up to your arrival but sadly I only have the notes that Grandma has. After the cervadil didn't work the broke my water and put me on the drip. I never realized how much pain I would be in.

I remember you giving us a scared when they couldn't find your heartbeat. I had 6 nurses within 10 seconds at my bedside. They found it and brought in the doctor just to make sure everything was ok. I got them to call my midwife because I needed something to ease the pain.

For 8 hours I laboured trying anything but the epidural. Until the doctor decided that I needed to have it for the labour to progress. The epidural didn't work and I never did dialate. The doctor told me that I needed to have a c-section. I can remember being so upset because that was not how I wanted to have you. Later I found out they were worried about your heartrate dropping all the time.

When I finally got to see you I was so happy. You were safe and sound in daddy's arms. He was so proud to be your daddy. I saw how happy he was. I finally got to hold you in the recovery room. I couldn't stop shaking but I stopped long enough to hold you and kiss you. Grandma Sue kept saying that your eyes looked purple. I kept thinking I can't believe your mine.

You changed our lives forever. Today will always be a special day because you came into this world. Happy Birthday love you always and forever Mommy and Daddy

Monday, November 1, 2010

The last day I was pregnant

A year ago today I got the call that would change the rest of my life. Me being the naive pregnant woman I thought that I would be having a baby that day. (Boy was I wrong). At 7:30 am I jumped out of bed to a nurse asking me," Can you be here in a hour we can fit you in to start inducing you". I have never showered, ate and packed so fast in my life.

When we arrived the doctor told me what he was going to do and then I spent the longest day in the hospital. They gave me some cervadil to help get my cervic's get ready and told me it would be 12 hours before they did the next step. Needless to say I spent the next 24 hours pregnant.

That means tomorrow is the day I have been dreading. The day my beautiful son was brought into this world. Only to stay for 4 months.