Jackson

Jackson
November 2nd 2009 - February 28th 2010

“No day will ever erase you from the memory of time”

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Baby less Mother's Day

To some if you don't have children then that means you have not become a mother, but for me and many other women we are the unlucky ones that are caught in the middle. We are mother's to children that are no longer here. I have been feeling all week that yes I do have a son but he is not here so I don't feel like a mom. I watched while my coworkers deligently made mother's day crafts with the children at the daycare I work at (thankful that they understood and took over that task for me) all the while knowing that I would not be getting a handcrafted flower pot of Jackson's fingerprints....not now or ever. I had put a big sticker on today's date before Jackson died that says IMPORTANT to remind my boyfriend not to forget he had to get a card. Yesterday I broke down in the car because I had to sit and listen to two girls talk about how the fathers of their babies weren't in the picture and the other one was pregnant with another. I WANTED TO SMACK THEM! Yes my boyfriend and I are not married but we have a house together, cars together and have been living together for 3 years. We wanted to start a family and be parents and that got taken away from us. There are children out there who's parents just toss them aside and some don't even live with their parents. My son isn't here to love on mother's day and that is the one thing that I looked forward to is spending a Sunday loving being a mother.

3 comments:

  1. Linds, Mothers day is about all the hard work & things you do for your family. It's about all the love that you gave & was returned to you full circle. Most of all it's just about being a Mom & how great that is. Even though Jackson is not physically with you today, he is still with you spiritually. He knows all the hard things you've done for him. He knows how strong you are & how much you love & miss him. He knows how hard you tried & prayed. He knows most of all that you love him & YOU ARE HIS MOMMY!!! That's what today is all about.
    Love you ~ Tanya

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  2. I was dreading this day since Jackson died, because, last May you were pregnant with him and were thinking about how exciting next mothers day would be with him. As you and I both know, you deserved more than most to have a baby in your life, you were nothing short of an awesome mommy to my nephew, and I am saddened every day that he was taken from you. Nothing will every replace him, and nothing will make this day any easier, but I want you to remember what I said. You do whatever you want for mothers day, you are still a mother and you always will be.

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