Sunday, May 9, 2010
Baby less Mother's Day
To some if you don't have children then that means you have not become a mother, but for me and many other women we are the unlucky ones that are caught in the middle. We are mother's to children that are no longer here. I have been feeling all week that yes I do have a son but he is not here so I don't feel like a mom. I watched while my coworkers deligently made mother's day crafts with the children at the daycare I work at (thankful that they understood and took over that task for me) all the while knowing that I would not be getting a handcrafted flower pot of Jackson's fingerprints....not now or ever. I had put a big sticker on today's date before Jackson died that says IMPORTANT to remind my boyfriend not to forget he had to get a card. Yesterday I broke down in the car because I had to sit and listen to two girls talk about how the fathers of their babies weren't in the picture and the other one was pregnant with another. I WANTED TO SMACK THEM! Yes my boyfriend and I are not married but we have a house together, cars together and have been living together for 3 years. We wanted to start a family and be parents and that got taken away from us. There are children out there who's parents just toss them aside and some don't even live with their parents. My son isn't here to love on mother's day and that is the one thing that I looked forward to is spending a Sunday loving being a mother.