November 2nd 2009 - February 28th 2010

“No day will ever erase you from the memory of time”

Monday, March 29, 2010

Why me?

The question that every mother asks herself. I still can't understand it. During my pregnancy I did everything right. I took my vitamins, went to my appointments, ate properly and didn't drink or take any medications that I wasn't suppose to. After he was born I loved him more then anything. He was my world and what a beautiful world it was when he was in it. Even when he got sick I took him to the doctor 4 times in a week because he wasn't getting better. I sat up with him when he was in the hospital and prayed for the doctors to save him when he stopped breathing. Why me? I did everything right and he got taken away from me only at 4 months. There are parents out there who have 6 kids running around that don't have enough money to put a roof over their heads but all their children are still alive. The question will never be answered. I try to make sense of it but I never can or will. When older people die I try to make sense of it, like they lived a long life, or they were suffering and now they won't. Jackson was only 4 months old, what do you say to that?

1 comment:

  1. I am so where you are right now. Thank you so much for finding me and writing. I can't believe the similarities. I know when Beckett died I had a hard time, as I couldnt find anyone who went through what I did (I know you get that). Please feel free to email me anytime raybran4@gmail.com.