Last year I was up with Jackson, opening presents and showing him what he got from Sanata. He was only a month and half old but I was so excited to have my own little boy for Christmas I didn't care if he would remember. I never thought I would be without him this Christmas.
He had got some really cute pj's that said "What ever santa doesn't bring me, grandma will". I had washed them and put them away for this Christmas. Somehow they never made it into his clothes buckets. When I went into his room there they were, I couldn't believe that he would have been that big.
I miss him so much and especially this time of year. I keep hoping that 2011 will be a better year. I know that it will never be the same without him. I know we still have to get through the day he died but it would be nice if I could sleep through the holidays and wake up the day after.
So to all the baby loss parents, I hope that your Christmas is ok and that the new year is a little brighter. That you are able to relax and watch your future children grow and that the people around you will still recognize and say the name of the children that are no longer with us.
Merry Christmas to everyone, I hope you all find peace and hope in the new year.
This year will be better. Every year will be a little bit easier.
ReplyDeleteI'm listening to Ray Lamontagne. Was that who you mentioned? Acre of Land.. it's for you :)