November 2nd 2009 - February 28th 2010

“No day will ever erase you from the memory of time”

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Strongly Worded Thank you card

Let my start by saying, that after Jackson died I was overwhelmed buy the outpouring of love and support from everyone. Food, flowers and in some cases money to help us financially. I mean who sets aside money for their child's funeral, espcially when they are only infants. I figured that thanks was pretty much an assumed in those cases, I believed that you should not have to send out Thank you cards for a funeral. I assumed wrong. After almost 8 months my mom asks me so were you planning on sending out a thank you card for (we will call her Beth). Now my mom only asked because someone kept asking her why they had not gotten a thank you card for the money they had sent. My mom understands where I am coming from and I hope that I can help others understand too.

I am not ungrateful in any capacity. I sent out probably close to 100 thank you cards to everyone for shower gifts and gifts that were bought for Jackson when he was born. To be quite honest I probably finished sending out the last 10 or so in the new year. When Jackson died, my world was shattered. I didn't care if my bills got paid let alone write 100 or so Thank You cards. Why should you write Thank You cards when something like this happens? Am I wrong in saying that. My mother in law put a add in the paper thanking everyone and hoped that it would be enough. Well it was not. So my mom went and got a thank you card and I signed with as much enthousiam as I could. "Thank you for your generosity. We appreciate it". Unfortunately that is not what I wanted to write. (Now for those of you reading this I appologize I am going through some stuff and this is how I vent)

Dear (Fill in the Blank)

I am so sorry that this has taken me so long to get to you. You would think with all the free time I have now not running around after an infant I could take two minutes to write you a Thank You card. I appologize. I guess I am taking the death of my son a little harder then expected, you know through the millions of tears I cry, waking up everyday only to slap a smile on my face and pretend that my life is just fantatstic. You know how it is. Oh wait you don't and unless you have lost a child you would never know how I am feeling. You would never ask why isn't my thank you card in the mail, because if this did happen to you, you would know that it takes every breath I take not breakdown every minute of every day of my life. Spending most of my waking hours wondering if he was alive what he would look like, what he would be saying or doing. Even wondering how the hell I am going to keep going on when all I really want to do is curl up in a ball and hope that it was all just a dream. So I hope this note finds you in good spirits because mine certainly not.
Love Lindsay

After writing the actual card I wondered are there others out there waiting for their cards. Now for those of you reading this who did give us stuff, please know that I do appreciate everything that you have done and keep doing for us. I just don't have it in me to do a proper one. To be honest if I was having a really bad day what you read above might be what you got in the mail. So to keep myself from doing that maybe someday you will get the proper ones in the mail.


  1. In all honesty, if you expect a "thank you" card for sending someone money after their child died, you are not right in the head.
    I can understand your anger, because it makes me angry to think someone would expect that of you. I really wish that this person receives there thank you card, and it makes them uncomfortable.

    Grr, this makes me angry.

  2. Lindsay, I too have a bag full of over 100 Thank You cards just sitting in my house. I'm not even sure if I finished. I just can't send them out. I just can't. It's been almost 20 months. I completely understand you.

  3. Linds,
    I agree with Lisa 200 percent!!! Who would want or expect you to send out thank you cards for something like this. In my opinion anything anyone has done to help you & Tim out during this very hard, very trying time should be out of love and not for a pat on the back. Ridiculous and very selfish of this person.

  4. Lindsay - Your posts are well articulated Lindsey - well said, and straight from the heart and hip - You tell it girl!! And I so agree with you - No ONE knows the day to day grief and pain and no one who has not experienced this will ever know - I hope that one person (and I hope it was just one) reads this that they know it was written just for them from you - A Thank you card??? For showering you with love and support and doing exactly what they should be doing 'just because' - I agree with Tanya anything done during that sad time for you and for so many hopefully came naturally and from the heart and with no expectations!! Vent away Linds - articulate feelings ...hopefully one day 'that some someone' will get it - cheerz and kudos to you Hun and the strenght you continue to muster xoxo Aunt Rosie