Day 3 - Portrait after loss

This picture was taken about two weeks after Jackson died. My sister was pregnant with her first at the same time as I was pregnant with mine. She found out that she was going to have a boy in October shortly before we had Jackson. We were so excited that we were going to have babies and they were both going to be boys! Best friends! Our son died February 28th 2010 and my nephew was born March 7th 2010. One week,between the loss of my son and the birth of my nephew. This is me holding my nephew for the first time. My sister was always wonderful and never pressured me to hold him but I never wanted to look back and regret not holding him while he was a baby. I remember I cried the whole way home after holding him, but 2.5 years later I still don't regret that decision. I look at the picture and I remember how broken I was. How all I wanted was for Jackson to be there with us to enjoy his new baby cousin.