Tuesday, July 24, 2012
IS the Universe just messin with me
Before Marleigh was even born I always was worried about the first 4 months. Worried about her health, things I would be looking for. When we went to Sick Kids and got the testing done I felt I could finally take a breather for awhile. Actually I hadn't even thought about the 4 months since the day we came home from Sick Kids. On the eve of my little girl turning 3 months it all came back...and slapped me in the face. Today Marleigh has been spitting up a lot, to be honest (pardon the TMI she hasn't pooped since yesterday, which if she hasn't she does tend to spit up a lot. Makes sense there is no room at the inn so to speak. She felt warm to me so I took her temp (nothing)and I was worried she looked a little pale, Tim said the same thing when he got home. So then my wheels started turning. Boy had I wished they had stayed still. When getting pregnant with Jackson my goal was to be off on maternity leave for the winter Olympics in Vancouver. Weird but I was slightly obsessed with the Olympics. Ok here is the very weird coinsidence that is making me a little bit crazy. Jackson was 3 months when the Olympics started, Marleigh is turning 3 months tomorrow and the Olympics start Friday. So now I am freaked out. I know the Olympics has nothing to do with Jackson dying, but its just a weird freaky coinsidence. Now my paranoia of the first 4 months is coming back to haunt me. Is the universe testing my mental state for this next month, I am looking forward to August 26th, 4 months and 1 day. Just let me get there in one piece.