My name is Lindsay, I am 28 and a month ago at the age of 4 months my beautiful son Jackson died. I felt that my life was over and that I was standing in a dark hole not sure how I was going to get out. This blog will be my way of dealing with my loss and hopefully help someone else who has lost their child. Maybe together we can help eachother heal and learn to live again. I will never be 100% but hopefully everyday will be a little bit better then the day before.
Jackson
“No day will ever erase you from the memory of time”
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Leila is here.
Well she has been here for 6 weeks. Leila was born July 12th, and was 9'10, which I was surprised because Marleigh was the same weight and she didn't seem even close to that. Marleigh has gone through a couple of transitions from loving Leila to not liking her and then loving her again. I understand that going from getting all the attention to sharing with a baby who seems to get mommy's attention a lot is hard. Marleigh wants to be sitting on my lap when Leila is nursing, not beside me but basically on top of Leila. I have tried getting her snacks or putting on her favourite show so she is distracted. Nursing was tricky with Leila at first, as she was tongue tied, I kept getting clogged milk ducts and was becoming quite painful. She has since got her tongue clipped so now we are a little more smooth sailing.
The C-section went well. After a week I was like I am not sure if I can do this again. Now 6 weeks later I don't even remember the pain. One more time and then I think we are done. I was worried about having another girl but so far it has been awesome. All of Marleigh's clothes fit Leila so I currently only need to shop for Marleigh because the next year Leila can wear her clothes. This week is very bittersweet. Leila is 6 weeks, Marleigh is 16 months and Jackson would have been on his way to school. I can't even believe I have child that would be a going to school. I wish every day he was here to help keep Marleigh company while I do stuff with Leila. Leila looks so much like Jackson, they have to same eyes and are the same body type. She sleeps much better then he did but I will never know if that was just him or because of his heart condition. Well my free time is up and I have a hungry little girl who is going to need lunch soon.
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